FOMO.
If any of you reading this post are anything like me, you’ve probably never heard this expression. I didn’t even know this expression existed until I heard it from a Second Year student here at Darden last week. For those of you who are still in the dark, let me define this wonderful expression for you:
FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out.
Four simple words. When I first heard this expression, it took me a second to realize exactly what it meant. Then, very quickly thereafter, I realized that I, too, suffer from this affliction from time to time. This fear can be debilitating, devastating, and destructive to your life.
Let me describe a few symptoms of FOMO. In the simplest form, people dealing with FOMO cannot make decisions when offered two potential experiences. These experiences could be parties to go to, happy hours, which organizations to join, which events to attend, or even which group of friends to sit with. Those suffering from FOMO are often afraid to commit to any one event or gathering for fear that another opportunity may come up later in the day. And even when they do make a decision, accept an invitation and dive head first into an opportunity, they are often physically there but mentally checked out, spending their valuable brain waves wondering what they are missing instead of enjoying the experience they are currently in. Their fear of missing out actually causes them to miss out even when they are there.
But FOMO doesn’t just stop with experiences. FOMO can transition into a case of the “What might have beens” or WMHBs for short. You know this feeling, that unnerving wrenching in your stomach that you get sometimes when you aren’t entirely sure you made the right decision. As a graduate student, I’m sure several of us get the WMHBs when we consider where we would be in our careers if we would have spent these two years in the workforce and not in school. Others may get the WMHBs when thinking back to old relationships, organizations they dropped out of, or friends they lost touch with.
But for every case of FOMO and the WMHBs, there are always those individuals suffering from the, “where am I going” disease. You know these types as well. They are the ones who are never satisfied with their current situation, always looking for the next big thing or trying to plan the next big move in their life. They want to make grand life plans – looking one, five, ten, sometimes twenty years down the line to plan their life. They are so busy making plans for the future that they essentially forego their current life.
If you live in fear of missing out, constantly spend your brain waves wondering what might have been, or you are always trying desperately to figure out the moves in Future Year 8 of your life, you are not truly living in the present. While self-reflection can be a good thing, there is much to be said about living in the present, enjoying and learning from your current surroundings. It is in these moments that you have undoubtedly been blessed with more than you are even capable of understanding and are more than likely surrounded by some great people with whom you will share many laughs, tears, and memories. It is the present that makes us appreciate the past and prepares us for our future. But more importantly, the present is where life truly takes place. The present is lights, camera, action.
Don’t spend too much of your day worrying about missing out, what you did wrong, or when the next big chapter of your life is going to begin. Spend your day enjoying the life and the people you have around you. Make decisions, take chances, and celebrate life every chance you get because before you know it, things change, people change, the moment is gone.
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, which is why we call it the present.”